Posts Tagged ‘pee funnel’

Jaded Veteran’s Guide to What You Need to Survive Burning Man, and Maybe Even Have Some Fun: Personal Care

May 13, 2019

Note: Amazon is evil and must be punished. However, before their amoral employee practices were brought to light, they were my go-to for burn supplies. The embedded links are “affiliate” links, so if you end up buying something from my link, I might make like, $00.005! YEET! (note: still not sure what yeet means.)

In the 10+ years I’ve been going to Burning Man and regionals I’ve acquired extensive experience with gear. I know what I thought I needed, what I need, and what I don’t need. My suggestions, over the years, have been embraced by virgins and veterans alike.

Number one recommend of ALL TIME: Pstyle. If you are someone who needs to pee standing up, you need a Pstyle. Not a She-Wee. Not a GoGirl. You need and want a Pstyle.

pstyle

You want at least two, really. One to keep on you at all times, and one to keep in the tent for when you lose the other one. It’s the easiest to use, the most discrete, it’s a women-owned and run company and as you can see, not just marketed to cis women.

pstyle 3

It shakes clean and dries instantly (except for if there’s a lot of thicker blood). Stick it in your pocket. Stick it in one of their cute-azz Pstyle carrying cases.

pstyle case

It’s a game-changer, a life-changer, and great for dive bars with no toilet seats, road trips, and just about anything you do that involves emptying your bladder. I’ve been using it for almost 10 years!

pstyle 4

My search for a way to pee that didn’t involve sitting was inspired by the L Word and, thanks to Pstyle, didn’t end up involving catheters.  Sadly it looks like the Pstyle song isn’t online anymore! It was riot grrl realness.

Runner-up: Freshette. Freshette was my first pee funnel and it does have advantages. First, the way it forms a seal and does more to prevent over-flowing (which I’ve only done twice, with a Pstyle, because I wasn’t paying attention). Second, the tubing is nice for directing the stream away, but then you have a second piece to deal with and it’s not as easy to clean as the Pstyle. I lost the tube, but keep the pink part in my tent; it’s perfect for the pee jug. Speaking of, learn from my mistakes and pee-covered tent floor. Get a big container with a handle for your pee jug!

I recommend this water, or an Arizona tea jug.

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Not a little Gatorade bottle, not a coffee can, something with a lid for when it’s not in use (again, please learn from my mistakes!) and a handle to make it easy to carry and empty. If the idea of being seen with a bottle of pee is keeping you from using one, or emptying it properly, decorate it.

Now, onto the rest! I’m going to go in order of your day, from waking up to going to sleep.

Ah, eyeballs. To use mine properly I needed contacts. Which meant clean hands and saline, all liquidy and drippy-droppy. I came up with a little contacts corner, where I kept wipes to initially clean my fingers and a bottle of saline to rinse again, before touching my eyeballs. Sham Wow made it easy. It absorbed the saline instantly, keeping the tent floor dry. It dried quickly, no damp cloths lying around, caking up with playa dust. This also meant I could keep the contacts case nice and clean, rinsing and adding fresh saline every time (just dumping the used saline onto the Sham Wow).

Sham Wows ended up being fairly handy for things like the aforementioned pee jug incident (ok, ok, incidentS, lessons learned and re-learned). I’ve had the same two or three for years, now (I don’t know where they came from). They wash clean and are good to go again and again.

Baby Wipes: For my first two or three years, I didn’t use baby wipes. So MOOPy. Smelly. Don’t they leave a sticky film/gross feeling?

Also, I’m not a baby.  Please click on that; I can’t embed Tweets.

Then one year, my campmate offered me one from his cooler. It was magical. So get you some wipes. Use them to clean yourself, your gear, blow your nose, clean the inside of your nose, etc.

I go barefoot indiscriminately. Again, around year 2 or 3, I learned me some lessons. Playa dust will do things to your skin you didn’t know possible. It’s a point of pride to look as dusted as possible. If you look clean, you clearly aren’t doing it right.

However. After a particularly bad year of skin so dry it’d beat Norm McDonald in a stand-up competition, I began a skin care routine that has served me well.

  1. Moisturize. Non-stop. Cuticles and inside your nose, especially. Swipe a Q-tip through some Vasoline and get up in there. I’ve found the new cocoa butter flavor to be pleasant.

Listen, people joke about playa dust, it’s considered that thing you just have to learn to love, but it is not good for your body. It is not good for the inside or the outside.

dustWhy Do We Act As If Playa Dust is Safe?

It’s not sand, it’s not dust, it’s a bunch of chemicals that will, scientifically speaking, fuck your shit up. 

After being in sandals all day, I thoroughly clean and moisturize my feet before putting on boots and socks. I also clean any skin that’s going into tighter clothing. Most days, especially as warm as nights have been the past several years, I don’t change into warmer clothes. If I do swap from shorts into leggings, I clean the skin to prevent chemical burns. Nivea cream, or anything with all the heavy moisturizing ingredients, works well. When I take boots and socks off for bed, I probably clean again, depending on how uh…”tired” I am, slather on more cream, and sleep in cheap little socks. 

Sleeping in socks – sleeping in anything – is gross. Not as gross as sitting in a hotel room, crying, because your feet and hands are splintered, red, bleeding, and burnt.

I try to do a pretty good wipe down, before bed, to keep the bed cleaner. For….at least five years I’ve had the same queen-sized air mattress from ALPS.  It’s comfortable, holds air well, the rechargeable pump has never died on me, during the event. The reverse air-sucking means it will fold up tight. Sleep is SO important to me. I can’t nap, so when I’m down, I want to stay down and sleep well. Having a foam top the last few years has been bougie and beautiful. My burn bed is so comfortable it’s hard to leave.

BACK TO SKIN

IT PUTS THE LOTION ON

Contacts in, skin wiped and slathered, sunscreen time!

The sun at Burning Man is RELENTLESS. Put it on, and never take it off. If you pass a table with sunscreen, spray some on. I don’t care if you just left camp. Spray, squirt, rubbidy dub. This is the one time of year I splurge on fancy sunscreen, both by Neutrogena.

Usually I hate scented stuff, but I like this one. 

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Yes, I’m aware that it’s putting on enough and putting it on often that does the trick, SPF numbers are fairly meaningless. I don’t care. The desert is trying to kill me and I’ve never gotten a sunburn when I use this.

To super protect my tattoos I keep the 100 on me.

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They both go on evenly, dry quickly, and don’t leave me feeling like a greased pig.

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Boobs, sweat, Burning Man

August 15, 2016

A dear readers asks: “Gonna get personal here. Did you ever go topless at Burning Man? Did you have problems from boob sweat + playa?”

I couldn’t recall any sort of issue, so I asked friends. Overwhelming consensus is that since it’s so dry out there, boob sweat isn’t an issue. Here in the South, most of the year we’re getting hugged by a REALLY sweaty person who won’t let go. You can sit still under the shade with a fan, and you’re still gonna be wet from the  humidity.

Second overwhelming response is to use deodorant, to prevent sweating and chafing under the breasts, in the groin area, etc.  Pretty much the same ingredients as Monistat and other anti-chafing products, just without the targeted marketing and pink tax.

I’m basically a Pstyle missionary.  I keep one on me, one in my tent next to the peejug. I consider it a “must-have” for Burning Man, other burns, gross music venues with no toilet seats, outfits that I don’t want to remove completely so I can pee, etc.

She asks, “What do you do with pstyle while it’s in your bag? Put it in a ziplock? Does it get gross?”

The belt I made has a zipper pocket just for the Pstyle. Many women keep it in a ziplock bag with wet wipes. I don’t, just shake after use, it dries instantly, the end. It’s never gotten gross – when I’m menstruating the blood might need to get wiped off, doesn’t always shake right off like urine, but that’s about it. Doesn’t smell, doesn’t make the fabric of the pockets it’s in smell. The most likely thing to end up smelling is your peejug.

I have overflowed the Pstyle when I didn’t have it placed correctly and/or wasn’t paying attention. Practice in the shower, over your toilet at home, off your back deck, until you figure out where it needs to go against your body and how you need to stand. I have also definitely overflowed my peejug, so keep it empty. I’ve also  knocked it over, so keep the lid screwed on at all times!!

I recommend this water bottle for a peejug:

crystal-geyser-1-gallon-natural-spring-bottled-water-6-case

The paper handle is very nice for the emptying trips. I also like to paint it, cover it with duct tape, etc. so it’s not like, totally obvious you’re carrying around a bunch of pee.

DON’T USE JUGS THAT HELD JUICE OR ANYTHING OTHER THAN WATER. That is a guaranteed odor.

Blah.

September 22, 2010

I don’t want to go to Alchemy. I just don’t…feel like it. Mostly, I just don’t feel like driving 5-6+ hours. In the dark. In the middle of nowhere…and then setting up – I’m really just tired of always doing everything by myself. I spent all day yesterday planning with my friend that I usually don’t get to see much, because she does a large, food-based camp. She’s camping with me! No theme camps or virgins! Just us! So I got a little excited, felt a little better about it. Plus, it was just fun to talk to her all day (she’s a teacher, and stays fairly off the radar during the school year). But then her mom found some cancer…so she might not going. And have a dying mum. So I’m back to square one.

The Grand Sierra had a big burner party – “Burning Man 2,” I called it.

 “Only the Skinny Chicks and Assholes.” Of course that’s not entirely true – I mean, I was there (because it’s where my roomate wanted to go),

but it was the more…erm…nevermind. I really hate everything, right now.

A cop came and brought coffees. Starbucks, that my co-workers tease me about (my dad brings me one when he comes, sometimes I stop on my way to work because my dad gave me a gift card). Did any of the three women who got them, who don’t drink coffee, offer me one? Nope. Will they probably get thrown away? Yep. ARGH.

I’m not blogging ever again. I  HATE EVERYTHING.

These guys were swapping tricks. Otherwise it was just overpriced weak drinks and techno spun by what I would have thought was pretty stereotypical Vegas DJ Jersey Shore types

Stitch is great. We got krunk.

Repeatedly. Non-stop.

My “stalker” sent champagne to my room.

It was awesome. I’ve never in my life had anything like that, before. Room service, or whatever. I mean, you’d think train stations would have SOMEthing for people sleeping on the benches, but nooooo – we passed out @ 8 or 9 p.m. Ha! In the morning, there was a few inches left and I made EmergenC mimosas (we didn’t have any orange juice…).

I can’t even post the naked pictures…it was ridiculous. I wish I hadn’t been QUITE so drunk, because we decided on allyoucaneat sushi, and I barely remember it.

Luckily, I guess I decided to try and take pictures of everything I ate.

That isn’t all I ate. I was stacking plates as fast as homeboy could roll them. And sake.

Oh, you guys, I love sake. And they had so many I’ve never tried (like that’s hard). That, I’d def do again – more sober, so’s I could more properly enjoy it. The allyoucaneat buffet, though, not so much! I missed the Nugget and it’s reasonable prices and grease and common folk. The casino scene is not for me…but I sure felt fancy. And grateful for the leftovers I’d brought. “Variety meat pack? That’s the most obscene thing I’ve heard of.” – Stitch

The old ladies in the airport were very impressed with my radical self-reliance, as I sat on the floor eating deli meat. Since my 11:30 flight got moved to 1:30. And drinks in the bar

were like, 8 bucks. However, one of my local friends, of whom I’d JUST thought, “I never get to see him often enough…” was on the same plane, so me and some Charlotte people – and a nice guy from Florida – hung out in the bar. Then nice guy invited me to sit next to him on the plane for more gin and tonics, so it was pretty fun. FINALLY! Dallas! And my second flight had also been delayed, so I made it home. Poor nice guy, though, had to stay another night – and let me tell you, I was SORELY tempted to join him.

Anyways. Co-worker gave me the last half of her Starbucks, but it’s a mochacrappe. WHY GOD WHY?

I don’t mean to be whiny, I’m just…disgruntled. Oh! So, the hotel pool was  selling sunscreen, $6 for an ounce. THIS guy, however, was walking around offering it for free.

High five!

I stepped into the elevator and lo and behold! Rana! A friend of mine from Florida, that camped with us @ Big Puffy last year. That was hilarious. Ran into a few other people, too – would really like to make a concentrated effort to coordinate Reno hotel shenanigans, next year. Or explore other options, not even in Reno…

The house is pretty much in order. Except for the roaches. They are pissing me right off. I’m going to have to call and exterminator. Good-bye, BRC fund starter pile.

Last night, with the help of the Gilmores, I sat on the couch and worked on this dress

I’ve had it for a couple of years, now, just never been able to finish tacking all the skirt back onto the tulle and all back together. I hate gathering. Hate it! And dealing with tulle. But I’m desperately trying to make things and stay positive and be productive, so I did it.

Here’s some girls pissing on the playa, while waiting for the Gate to open.

Ladies, have some gd class. If you don’t have a pee funnel, and a pee jug (what a way to bond with my driver, eh?) at least have a modicum of modesty.

Pstyle FTW. Pee in the jug. Pee on the tires. Not make a spectacle of yourself. I heart my Pstyle! Somebody in BRC said they’re not making them anymore, but my friend is finally buying one (“You love yours so much, I have to have one.”) and found it on Amazon. I’m tempted to get a spare.