Posts Tagged ‘hoop skirts are your friend’

Help John Waters, you’re my only hope…

July 14, 2009

‘cuz I need help with camp…get it?

Me neither.

Anyways, my camp plan seems to be falling through, so I’m on the prowl…or not.

My thinking is, “…[usually} I camp up in the woods, but I’d like to be with people who have experience and can help me out, if/when I need it. Sure, I can just stand there hollerin’, but it’d be nice to be surrounded by people who know what they’re doing (and maybe bring along some amentities that I can’t). Just a little peace of mind, for me…”

 The following camps may or may not even take on people (much less virgins) but they sound like camps I’d enjoy:

Crackwhore Camp

Camp Cats!Cats!Cats! (Before I ever saw their logo, I was contemplating the same design for a tattoo…)

Camp Disappointment
Were you picked lasted in gym class, first out in dodgeball, and rejected by all the girls? Are you having way to much fun on the playa? Come on down to Camp Disappointment and find out what we can’t and won’t do for you. Interactive pseudo performance art crap.

Camp Here
We’re awesome, and we like tequila. The tequila fairy lives here. We’re easy, but not too easy.


Hushville sounds nice, quiet. Quiet being why I camp alone. And there’s a lot more hippie crap, and less chaos than I want *pouty face*.

Just Show Up Camp
Traveling solo and tired of being far from the action? Want to camp closer to the esplanade or are you loner who wants to make new friends? “Just Show Up Camp!” is for individuals traveling solo who would like to “Just Show Up” and camp together without the usual formalities of a theme camp.

Kostume Kult – I know people, and, well, COSTUMES. And maybe I could sneak into a box and get shipped back to NYC. “Oops, sorry work, I moved or whatever…”


The Wigs welcome you to our home, Monticello, an epicenter of unbridled debauchery, pseudo-aristocratic absurdism, unfathomable sexiness, and pantaloon-shaking madness.

The only problem with that is I want to go to BM to escape my day-to-day routine (hardy har har).

World renowned as the finest purveyors of Shrimp Tacos. I am requesting that you perform five jumping jacks for reading this.

I love tacos, and the description. Finely devoid of exlamation points and the word “love.”

PolyParadise – I know people

Unnatural History Museum
…we will provide a ‘Victoriana’ themed bar and lounge bringing to mind the high culture and impeccable hospitality of England in the 1860’s.


and that is it. I didn’t really see even one, that reeeealllly sounded like “me.” I guess I’m more of a “Dirty Southern Burner” than I thought! So maybe I’ll just stick it out on my own…that just seems like a not-great idea, my first year. Esp. given my up in the air (ha ha! Take that, fate!) structure situation.