Posts Tagged ‘burning man food’

Jaded Veteran’s Guide to Burning Man: Feed me, Seymour!

August 6, 2019


As always, the hot pink links are hilarious, helpful, maybe both.

Food at Burning Man. What a PITA. At least for me, being gluten-free and surprisingly healthy, when it comes to food.


I don’t think, due to the large amount of MOOP, I’d live off cold cans of ravioli even if I could buuuuut it’d be nice to have the option. Food is hella important at a burn. Because your body is important. Take. Care. Of. Your. Body.

One tip I always give n00bs: Time your eating. Don’t wait until you feel hungry. Try to give your corpse some calories every few hours so you can keep running around acting a fool.

Eat food when it’s offered. Put it in your pocket for secret eating. Drink water when it’s offered.

Me…I don’t even know…even after 10 years of TTiTD and regionals I end up not having enough of something or too much of something else, despite meticulous notes from the previous year. Pro tip: don’t go shopping for one person at Costco. 

How I pack: I sit down with pen and paper, close my eyes, and run through my day. Wake up: what do I need? Breakfast: What might be good? Getting ready to leave camp: what do I need to do?

Every year I list what food I pack and I keep my Reno receipt to see what I bought (which is always interesting, because it’s at a strange grocery store with an unfamiliar layout and unknown offerings.


After the burn (theoretically) I examine both lists to see what worked, what didn’t work. This has been tremendously important to me as Burning Man has never happened for me when I could afford it (got the time, no $$, got the $$ it means I’m employed and don’t have the time). I cannot buy shit I will not use. I often have to fly, which means flying with my cooler and not having the luxury of shopping where I want, when I want, with a second cooler (or the option to buy one).

For the most part, my insane note-taking and list-making is a boon. My packing is minimal, my personal comfort is maximized. Except…freakin’ food. Here’s what I have figured out:

I don’t cook at burns. That’s time I could be spending doing awesome shit.

I don’t cook at burns. That’s space wasted on pots and pans – and a stove and fuel, and dealing with grey water.

The point of food for me, at a burn, is sustenance. Maximum feed and nourish (I hate that word) my body, minimal effort and mess.

Sooooooooooooooooooo…I eat a lot of sandwiches! Sandwiches are great. Carbs, fat, protein, no mess, portable, can make it ahead of time to make future you happy (see my notes on drinking at Burning Man).

I covered coffee in the post about how I start my days, and my coffee mug in the post about drinking at Burning Man. Here’s the food stuffs I count on, splurge on, and don’t bother with.


GF bread – usually just one piece, with: packs of mayo from gas stations, salami, havarti, maybe lettuce if I had room in the cooler. I don’t really like other deli meats, they’re dry. Prepackaged chicken salad and whatever else the deli section has.

If I have the budget I’ll get Swiss cheese, too. If I had a free-for-all budget I’d have spinach artichoke dip, chips, sliced onions, and avocado. You can also get squeezable mayo, as a compromise between MOOP and cooler space.

Schar’s was my go-to, since you can get it at WalMart and I like supporting a GF bakery that’s been around for ages. Their ciabatta buns make PERFECT little sandwiches.

For bread-bread, though, new player Canyon Bakehouse makes the best slices. Perfect toast. Not too dense/heavy.

BM aside, if you have a GF person in your life win their heart forever with Schar’s chocolate caramel cookies and chocolate shortbread cookies. Have some in camp to surprise GF people with and enjoy the tears of joy.

This year I’ll be taking my paleo bread. It’s thinner, nuttier, sweeter but grain-free and fewer carbs. I get a loaf when it’s on sale at Kroger and freeze it. AND DEAR LORD THESE BROWNIES. Y’ALL. BROWNIES ARE STUPID. EAT SOME CAKE. BUT THESE ARE SO GOOD.

And that’s it! Sandwiches and brownies. Have fun!

Just kidding.


A new thing for this year is Siete’s grain-free wraps. Siete is a family of witches who make magical gluten-free, healthy wraps that don’t suck. Make a cold wrap and it’s not too chewy. It holds together. Make a quesadilla. It doesn’t get all greasy and weird. I’ve only had the cassava, so that’s what I’m getting; if you try another one let me know how it is!

Lance’s gf cheese crackers, serving size: one fist-full shoved into my mouth. In 2017 I backed over my bag of dry groceries and ate cracker crumbs all week.

Chocolate milk The only good thing to come out of that Costco saga. I don’t drink it IRL and the MOOP is annoying, but out there, crackin’ this cold one, changes your day. If you have cooler space, Silk’s Dark Chocolate Almond Milk is a real treat.

Annie’s GF mac and cheese Another trade-off between MOOP and mental health. Pour in boiling water. Add a gross-ass can of chicken (tuna, whatever). Late-night snack turns into a treat.


Alternately, less MOOP and more fat girl (due to the larger one-serving size), Annie’s “deluxe” works the same way. Add boiling water, let the pasta sit, stir in sauce.

Also new this year, if I can find it: Roots Hummus. I don’t really like hummus, except maybe my own, but this Asheville company makes hummus I *want* to eat (the garlic or beet one). You know, as opposed to eating it because it’s the only thing left besides the snow peas from the ranch dressing platter nobody wanted.

Which is also how I feel about hummus companies getting high in the development room.


…I’m blanking. Let me see if I can find my list.

QotD and Playa Provisions

August 18, 2011

“I shall go on shining as a brilliantly meaningless figure in a meaningless world.” 
— F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and Damned 

Got a spammy comment, but the product’s pertinent (my penis is plenty big, my prescriptions are covered by insurance and I know how to meet Russian single ladies, da?)

Hard not to like someone with a cartoon, Star Wars menu and an innovative idea – not to mention, to my surprise, the prices are COMPLETELY reasonable.

Pork Posole – $55.00 (Five 12 oz. Portions)
Pork Braised in a thick rich smokey tomato broth with hominy and onions – Cabbage lime and radish on the side

Chicken and Sausage Gumbo – $45.00 (Five 12 oz. Portions)
Chicken thighs with andouille sausage cooked with herbs, spices onions, celery and green bell peppers

They should deliver me some granola (they don’t deliver) to review, moo hoo ha ha.

Quinoa Granola – $25.00 (Five 4 oz. Portions)
Quinoa flakes, almonds, sugar, sunflower seeds, cinnamon, grapeseed oil, maple syrup, vanilla (Gluten Free!)

They have packages that come prepacked in an ice chest you keep, and list/sell everything you need to heat the meals up. Pretty darn nifty if you ask me.

As someone who has totally, completely lucked out with a wonderful camp chef who goes beyond out of his way to include and accomodate her, I haven’t experienced the hassle of meal planning, prep and execution but it seems Playa Provisions would def be worth it for other travellers like me, who need a simple, compact way of eating well while in BRC. Man, that was a long sentence. But you know what I mean, not everybody can travel with a full kitchen set-up. Pot. Heat source. Water (melted ice). Spork – eat it out of the bag. Done. Pretty cool.

Light My Fire products

June 28, 2011

Y’all know I love my spork

It’s the only eating utensil I’ve used for…over five years, now. Randomly searching today I found some more LMF products:

Like a larger spork!

That would be fun just to carry around. With my 64oz flask. Their “spill-proof” cup

Product Features

  • Holds over 300ml (1.25 cups) and includes measuring lines for 100ml, 200ml, and 300ml.
  • Made from environmentally friendly polypropylene plastic.
  • Microwave safe. Floats.
  • Weighs just 65g (2.3 oz).
  • Design by Joachim Nordwall, J. Nordwall Design, Sweden.

A spill-free cup with a lid to keep hot beverages warm and make it easy to drink even under difficult conditions such as aboard a boat. As practical in the city as in the great outdoors. The spill-free cup is big enough for soup, has measuring lines and floats.

It seems to have a hole in the lid, presumably for a straw. I wonder how the lid stays on? Screws? Clicks? I have the Dusty Swan mug, no lid and totally spills everywhere. Then I might use a sippy cup with a straw, but it leaks through the straw and is a pain to clean. I’m sorely tempted to buy one, but need to put every spare penny towards the stupid plane ticket.

For normal camping (you know, with trees and shit) their FireForks are nifty:

At first I thought it was a flint striker firestarter thingie, but you take that colored bit off and you’ve got a…well, stick holder.

Yeah, “FireFork” sounds better. But for those squeamish about sticking stuff on the end of a “dirty” stick, this is a great solution. This survival bandana is pretty funny (fun gift)

A review: “My major gripe is that some of the “Survival” instructions printed on this tell you what you should do BEFORE you plan a hike/camping trip/ect., not what to do if you are already in survival mode. I can just see myself getting unnecessarily aggro in a survival situation when I go to get some wisdom from my survival bandana and it’s telling my what I “should” have done. ”

Back to LMF stuff.

You can get the cup and spork plus  two plates, a combined colander and cutting board,  and a small waterproof box. If I wasn’t enamored of my Orikaso (that I’m really glad didn’t sell when I tried to get rid of it) I’d probably get it. I just like the sporks that much! Lick ’em right clean  – the LMF spork and the dishes. No grey water. No paper towels.

Speaking of, the penultimate:

“Light My Fire is introducing a new annual collector’s series of Sporks. First out is the Limited Edition Spork 2010/2011: the Glowing Spork, a Spork made with phosphorus properties that give it unusual glow-in-the-dark properties. Each Limited Edition Spork comes in a black box with an individually numbered certificate of authenticity. Also included is one of the most unusual tabloids you’ve ever seen: “The Glowing News”, a miniature gossip rag that answers the age-old question: what does the Spork do at Night?”

Ha! Want! Ask me what my favorite color is! Do it! It’s glow-in-the-dark when it’s glowing! And glitter. Double ha! Here’s a review

Just kidding. Man, I want a gitd spork!

“Hey dude! I’m not sure if this thing needs a review since it’s a very simple item. It looks and feels like a regular spork except that it glows.” 

Here’s a six-minute spork review for you diehard sporkheads – warning, spork abuse. Sporkians? Sporkkies? Ooooh, you like spork torture, you naughty thing?

” I think maybe you take this stuff too seriously. Theres nothing very survivalish about this. If your surviving you would use anyhing from a stick to your fingers to eat.”

Man, I just spent waaaay too much time looking at sp0rk videos on youtube. But in this one I got a better look at that cup, confirm the hole and officializing my “how can it be spill-proof when there’s a hole in the lid?” ponderance.

Dear lord I seriously need companies to send me products to review because some of these videos are just awful (ok…the uniform and accent help)!

Fruity Pebble Rice Krispie Treats

May 4, 2011

These would be way easy and cheap to make, but look awesome (would also be easy to travel with and pass out).

Recipe at The Novice Chef.

Sahale Snacks Valdosta Pecans Snack Mix – and booze

April 9, 2011

Sahale Snacks Valdosta Pecans Snack Mix are tasty.

Naturally sweet (I love pecans) and peppery…

“Black-peppered pecans, sweet cranberries and a touch of orange zest,” skrait from the bag. Snack food but I found I wasn’t eating a lot, the flavors were pretty satisfying (unlike, a bag of Cheetos, which must be consumed in its entirety). I got them at WalMart, where I saw

Coincidentally, those are the two flavors I tried. Total waste of money.

“Grab a handful! These pouches go right from the store to the freezer…and come out as something truly unique. The taste, consistency, and refreshment of a frozen blender drink…without the blender…the clean-up…the noise! You rip open the top and pour a slushy cocktail, created by America’s premier cocktail experts…into your glass, or right into your mouth.”

And only 5% alcohol. I actually froze them, though I don’t like frozen drinks. The slushiness is inconsistent (IE, you end up with mostly slush). The margarita flavor was pretty margaritary in that straight-outta-the-bottle unnaturally green margarita way. I don’t like those. The strawberry one was pretty good, tasted just like an Icee. Couldn’t taste the booze in either of them. I like the taste of booze. Drink Kool-Aid and roofie yourself if you’re just drinking to “loosen up.”

They’d be cute for novelty gifty purposes (like an ice cream truck, but hand out these instead of popsicles), but not as cute as homemade booze popsicles – like the chocolate bourbon ones I tried to make – and too MOOPy.

for your amusement

February 4, 2011

Here’s 10 things you can make with a coffee pot. You can get a propane-powered one (Coleman makes them) – though you’ll need two, unless you don’t drink coffee. In college, I used a Rival pot in a similar fashion. Takes up less room than a camp stove. But not a little burner. But it’d be more steady than one of those.

NASACAR (Non-Accredited Sport Centered Around Rednecks) exists because of bootlegging – so does Mountain Dew (well, moonshine). Somehow, the idea of Burt Reynolds runnin’ from Smokey in a horse and buggy amuses me.

EXTREME! costuming…

August 10, 2010

I love this lady.

“what is Extreme Costuming, you ask? 

It’s a slightly silly sounding name.  But aside from that, it’s a total immersion approach to costume and material culture. 
From a costuming standpoint, it’s the crazy projects that take hundreds of hours to complete.  It’s creating the things that make people say “I could never do that!”.  It’s the hand-sewn, the deeply researched, the complicated, the time-consuming.  The correct materials, the correct sewing techniques, and an understanding of the complicated tapestry of politics, trades, occupations, and fashion that surround every single garment. 

I love costume, but I want more – I want clothes.  I want to bury myself in the details that slipped past me when I was newer to costuming.  I want the challenge.  And if I do it wrong, I want to know how.  It’s costume research as a conscious choice.

I’m not the world’s greatest seamstress or embroiderer, but I love what I do – it makes me happy.”

I think I’ve shrunk about three inches since I start this latest flurry of sewing, and my fingers feel gnarled and stiff, I stay up too late and ignore invitations for brunch…(ok, I don’t get invited anywhere) and for what?  “I will never wear this goth piece of crap.” – me on the black back piece

…but I can’t help myself. I cut the dress in half,

to use the sleeves for a shrug and immediately start fooling around with the skirt.


I need to finish the cloak and hip belt before I start on this AFP wanna-be skirt. Yes, I did just spend an hour moving one little cup (as in, for my breast) half a centimeter left and right, trying to get it just so.

It’s done! Now, what to wear on the bottom…

How dandy are you?

The thing I got for the big zippered pouch does fit the water

And oh! I thought, that bottle holder thingie would be fine for the pee funnel…

So I pinned it to the belt

and walked around, wearing it. Sat down on the floor/couch, chair, did some quick movements, danced, etc. It’s pretty cumbersome.

Tough call…what feels fine after two days might not feel so fine after seven. It struck me that 2 one litre water bottles wouldn’t be any more cumbersome…and if I get the Platypus kind, they’ll be awfully light weight and easy to carry…so I might just do that. What do y’all think? I’d been going with the bladder because it seemed more efficient for carrying assloads (no pun intended, there, a-hahahahaha!) of water around, but…I’m no longer sure.

Remember those awful Tripp pants? (of COURSE you do!, devoted reader whom I adore!)

They’re cut up to hell,

but I’m going to turn them into the aforementioned AFP and me skirt.

At the Pig I spied

Smoked gouda bacon pimento cheese! WHAT?! Hell yeah.

It’s pretty disappointing…tastes pretty much like what it is. Smoked gouda and bacon, all creamed up with some pimentos tossed in. Nothing like my Palmetto soul pimento, nooooo sirrrrr. That shit’ll make you dig your grandmother up and slap her.  I need a sugar daddy to fund my DSB on-playa camp, so I can serve pimento cheese and pinders and moonshine and listen to Merle and tell all the ravers to fuck right off.

I know you guys also know I love to make CDs. I’m trying to come up with something to make for PWR…going for that end of the world, waste-land vibe.

Starting with a little Fight Club mix, going into some Agent Orange and Mission to Burma…maybe some DBT and Eddie Spaghetti…do I go full-on fuck your face punk rock, or make it moodier…or do a funny one, about fuckin’ and drinkin’…something in between the first two. Any song suggestions?


November 17, 2009

This one time, I got drunk and pretended to be a high-society fur-wearing steampunk monocle lady.

I also got a very painful tattoo:

At this truck stop in…Nebraska? There was this tiny coffee shop behind it, selling way overpriced coffee and dried fruit nut M&M rice krispie treats.

Much tastier? Screaming Vegans. Well, in this case, Screaming Vegetarians (due to fake Bailey’s and Reese’s cups – my own little garnish):

Screaming Vegan:



chocolate soymilk

Screaming Vegetarian: add fake Bailey’s

SO good.

More comments!

June 21, 2009

Sin, you have the freaking most amazing advice.

Other readers, allow me to share wise, wise words from a wonderful woman:

 Make-up melts. Avoid oil-based (I use acrylic paints, way cheap, easy to remove), or keep it in your cooler.

Use your cooler water melt from ice for washing your face – don’t use your good drinking water.  I was already wondering about what to use that water for!

…pack some powder or corn starch in a little zip lock for heat/rubber chafing on the face.

I could try a cheap-o tent, that’s true. We don’t get wind here, though…I’m looking forward to this Trader Joe’s place! We have neither one of thsoe nor a Whole Foods.  I hate that I’ll have to spend time wandering around (as opposed to my Publix, or Rosewood Market, that I could shop in blindfolded), but I’m definitely getting some Tasty Bites stuff.
Here’s some gluten-free tips I got from fellow DOOM!ster Bex:

My staples out there usually fall into the Thai Kitchen rice noodle
ramen soup packs, Annie’s wheat free mac n cheese, Trader Joe’s makes an
awesome gluten free rice tortilla (burrito sized!).

Salty is going to be your best friend. Nuts, chips, granola bars or any
other bar that you like to nibble on for a snack.

I usually tend to eat breakfast because it isn’t so hot yet – cereal or
fruit and a bar or if I’m fancy – wheat free pancakes or somethin like that.

Lunch – I do a lot of vegetables and salad type stuff. It can be hot in
the middle of the day and I often don’t want to eat too much.

Dinner – one of those other things or tasty bites and boil in a bag rice.

oranges hold up well, as do apples – bananas, melons, peaches, berries
and other stuff not so much.

I really need to start getting ready for Transformus..hardly two months until PLAAYYYAAA!

If I was going to cook

June 19, 2009

This seems pretty cool:

Fifty bucks for (allegedly) 70 servingsish of foods.