Archive for the ‘There and back again – photos from on the road’ Category

If a burner freaks out in her empty house, does anyone hear her go AAAAAAAUUUUUUGH WTF AM I DOING???

August 14, 2011

Today. Six more hours until I have THREE DAYS!!! of freedom. Three whole days. Then, I work straight through until I fly to Reno on the 24th. God, three days anxiety-free, NO JOB making me sit under a tree in the PiggilyWiggily parking lot, crying. Mmmrph. I can’t wait.

I worked more on some projects last night. Pin. Try on. Take off. Repin. Repeat. Wears me out. Somebody just buy me stuff, already. I’ve actually spent more time cleaning the house than prepping, because coming home to a clean house is AWEsome. Coming home to the same piles and mess you left is :(.  The “OMG I might be moving to San Francisco in a week!!!” panic is evident in every room. Apartment Therapy reminded me to share this one.


1. Clean as you go: When you are cooking or involved in a project, tidying as you go, washing prep bowls, pots and pans will make for an easy aftermath.


2. Fold clothes after wearing: Most of the time you can get away with re-wearing clothing without washing. Spot cleaning is usually more than enough, and so long as you neatly fold you clothes, or in the least drape them over a chair, you will prevent the otherwise inevitable lint collection/crumpling that tossing them on the floor invites.


3. Wipe spills immediately: Letting spills linger means more elbow grease is required to clean them up, which means more time devoted to that sticky situation than if you took action right away.


4. Take out the garbage… now! The fuller the receptacle, the less likely it is that things will stay put inside of it. If you are sick of cleaning coffee grinds off the cupboard floor or find yourself trying to haphazardly empty one bag into another without it spilling, it is time to rethink your frequency.


5. Sweep daily: This takes not time and leads to the enjoyment of grit free floors. If you don’t already, see about taking outdoor shoes off at the door to prevent tracking in dirt and dust.


6. Spray down the tub/shower: After every use take a quick moment to spray any soap off the sides of the unit and rinse hairs down the drain.


7. Rinse the coffee pot: Maybe those CLR commercials impressed you, but avoid the experimentation altogether by quickly rinsing the coffee pot after you are through with the brew. Use the water afterwards in the garden or to give your houseplants a drink.


8. Clean out the fridge on garbage day: Never forget to check the refrigerator for going-gross items before you seal up the garbage bag. Compost what you can and get rid of the rest.



I try to maintain daily for my sanity. Better five minutes a day than five hours. So, there you go, Burning Man tip #29486: wash all the dishes, take out all the trash, clean perishables out of the fridge, put away the laundry and leave yourself a nice, comforting, tidy living space to return to. I also like to leave a gluten-free pizza and six-pack of Redbridge to await my return. The last thing I want, after a few days of burning and a day’s drive home is to be hungry and exhausted and have to deal with it. Having a nice looking-young man cooking pad thai when you get home is another great way to go.

Someone just had another one of my BRILLIANT ideas…

August 12, 2011

Tunna shared this on Google buzz:

Brady Forrest says: “Some friends of mine and I bagged premade 80 manhattans. Each is in its own vacuum sealed bag with a dried cherry. Those are going to be mighty good in the desert. 

That’s pretty great. Last year on the flight (2 and half days after the original one…) my new friend bought me a vodka tonic. “Next year,” I quipped, “I’m filling all my carry-on travel bottles with gin and tonic!”

Looking for a link to Tunna brought up all sorts of fun posts about what a GREAT time I had my first year!

I walked and walked looking – AGAIN – for somebody, something, anything.  I was walking away (from the burn) when it started. I had to pee. I was crying. My back to it. My brain turned to symbolism so maybe I’m not a burner. Another failed attempt at trying to find somewhere to belong. I just end up alone, again. Why do I leave my house? 30,000 people and I can’t find anywhere to go. My feet ache with exhausted hope.

Burning Man is just a big fucking rave. All you hear is techno. People FUCKED up wandering around. One DJ plugged his new album at Hookah Dome.

Chafed from the backpack, crinoline and fabric. Eyes burn. God, when I think how much MONEY this has cost me. I have no idea if I’m glad I did it or not.

I can’t fucking wait to LEAVE.

And some timely reminders like,

Remember how dirty you are...The amount of RVs is nuts. I really wish I’d made it back in the 90s…DPW = HOT. Hot cars, hot boys. – Clean up a bit, makes the Exodus sit a bit more comfortable. Also remember your pee funnel/jug, snacks and sunscreen.

Have that untouched bag of hotel clothes. Everything from underbits to a pair of shoes you haven’t worn in a week. I go with super simple cotton dresses and, this year, flip-flops (wearing my Docs around more was just too much!).

In second bummer news (the first being my boots that don’t fit), I am STILL on a quest to replace my missing hat.

I’m not a hat person. I don’t like wearing turtlenecks, either (god, I’m fascinating!). But that hat ruled. That hat kept my head warm. Covered up my bad hair. Made me look and feel kinda cute!! I got it by accident at the DSB Reunion….gosh, that was 2009. It was adorned with a simple Victorian-style brooch, awarded me by my captain.

Southern pirates say “yerrrrr…”

My fourth purchase does not work. Doesn’t cover my ears. SAD FACE. So, I still need shoes and a hat. Maybe some of these

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Sportsman’s Warehouse. It’s always lil’ ol’ me in there with the rednecks.  Someone asked me most what I’d miss, if I moved. “Rednecks,” I replied.

The Ebaying is going pretty well. I will def keep it up – I’m not getting rich, but it’s covering things like Vitalyte, the compression bags and other items I can buy with PayPal. I recommend it. All I did was walk around my house and pick out stuff to get rid of. Now, about that hat…


August 12, 2010

If you don’t know that Mr. Show is one of the best shows of all time (“OF ALL TIME!”), then why are we hanging out??

I took a balloon up my ass to Italy.

Dr. Jet shared this ditty, that is surprisingly funny and well-done!

A long, rambling, scattered post

August 6, 2010

I had 12 messages in my inbox this morning, all me drunk-texting myself stuff to remember to blog about.

“Neil hamb tony clifton hot”

“Tallahassee lassie chassis”

Let’s go back to Wednesday night. I’m trying to create a wasteland, raider-y wardrobe, right? So I got some brown hues of misc. linen…using my Lip Service thingie

as a pattern/idea

I cut a lining out of the nice red jersey. Soft and cool and dries quickly. Cut off the waistbands of the skirts and shorts

(intentionally leaving the book in the shot so I’d remember to recommend the Outlander series)

and set to pinning

I do want it to be nice and fitted, showing up my hourglass (more time on the bottom…) figure off, but comfortable and wearable. It was going smashingly until I broke my FAVORITE SEAM RIPPER 😦 😦 😦

I swear, I can go through some seam rippers…it unscrewed and you could put thread/needles/pins, etc. right innit. I found it on clearance at Joanne’s one day, a whole bunch of Generation T accoutrements. I also enjoy the magnetic pin box. It’s a nice combo between a wrist one and a pin cushion.

Anyways. Pinning and sewing, strip by strip…

Right now I’m trying to finish up the back. Debating suspenders. Onto the next project, this dress

(google is not being my friend today, I couldn’t find links to the seam ripper or the needle box or the look in my head for this dress)

Sort of an overcoat/duster thing, buttoned @ the waist, open and flared at the bottom. As you can see, though, it’s teeny – I used to be Molly’s size, and if it’s too small for her, it’s WAY too small for me.

Solution (it’s handmade and easy to do this with): add panels to the skirt, increasing waist size and giving it fullness and that swoopy look I want

I love my table, I totally splurged on it last year with the intent that if I had a dining room table, I’d have dinner parties (wrong) and it’d be a nice, large flat surface for getting all these damn projects done (mostly right). It can also be handy as a cutting guide

The green fabric there is a triangle insert to go under the arm, because the bodice part is too tight – it doesn’t need to fit over my chest, since I’m only buttoning at the waist, but it needs to look right

Not all wonky and puckered across the chest.

That leaves us with three unfinished but started projects: cloak, belt, corselet, overcoat – FOUR! NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

Here’s the view from my front door:

This weekend I am going to clean up a bit, before I continue with any sewings!!

Last night I went over to the aforementioned awesome friend who kayaks and is loaning me stuff’s house for dinner/a looksee. He’s the reason I had an inbox full of drunk texts to me.

While he worked on dinner,

(I don’t mind snappings beans at all, but shelling crowder peas = noes!)

I started drinking.

I’d tried that beer (it’s gluten-free) back when it came out, and it was so bad I actually tried to return it to the beer store. I must have gotten a bad batch, though, because it’s actually pretty good (for a non-stout/porter).

Really good.

“Counter bottles comforting”

There’s something comforting about waking up to a counter full of empty beer bottles.

Dinner was smoked pork chops, green beans and cheater’s jambalya (Zataran’s with shrimp and vegetables added):

Was it good?

A-no duh.

We watched Greenberg while we ate. I was very much looking forward to this movie, and I very much didn’t care for it. It reminded me of Seinfeld. A bunch of unlikable characters I don’t care about at all…but still kinda watchable. Ben Stiller as a carpenter was laughable. The like, TWO scenes where they showed him doing carpentery stuff (carrying wood, measuring a wall to hang a little picture) were stupid. I like Rhys Ifan, though…the leading alternagirl was just pathetic, “Oh, I am so awkward and shy but so full of love for the right person! I’m lonely, would you like see my new thrift store tee shirt?? I just didn’t find anything likeable about her. Whiny and pathetic. Just like Ben Stiller’s main character. And every other character he’s done…anyways.

K loaned me some bags!

There’s another Army bag, a large rubber kayaking bag, a nifty black canvas backpack…the red thing is an air pad (that you can turn into a chair), the blue thing is a water bag, and the yellow thing is basically a thick space blanket.

I think the kayaking bag is bag #1, now,

because it’s lighter than the  Army canvas one. I’d really like to use the smaller Army one as my carry-on, but I think it’s too big

I measured my suitcase, too

but I’m not sure what 14 inches long, 9 inches wide, 2 inches deep means. And I know I can take a carry-on, like a small suitcase, and some sort of personal bag. I mean,  women today have purses bigger than what I pack for a whole weekend+…

And I was so drunk and excited about the bags and the progress I packed my first bag

Underwear! Knickers! Oh my stripes and garters!

Oh, after Greenberg was over he popped in some Midnight Special. It was AWESOME. The Andy Kaufman episode. His guests were Slim Whitman and Freddie Cannon (the Tallahassee guy).  You can watch the whole episode in parts, on youtube. He’s a genius.

Slim Whitman sang “I Remember YOOOOOOUUUUUUU” (not the real title) and I knew it was a movie’s theme song…and I was right, it was in House of 1,000 Corpses.

I love everything I’ve seen Andy Kaufman do. It struck me last night the similarity between Tony Clifton

and Neil Hamburger

Who is probably my favourite current, living comedian (now that Zach G is a big ol’ movie star).

He’s the only non-friend I followed on Twitter.

Aaafter the Andy Kaufman, it just happened that Mad Max was on the teevee. That movie’s pretty bad-ass. I’m not sure I’ve seen it.

Me: “There’s motorcycles and crazy people and a lot of leather, right?”

K: Yup.

Me: “Why do they kill his wife and children?”

K:  Thats what they do, thyre one-percenters.

So maybe I haven’t seen Mad Max? BAD BURNER!!

It did make me want to figure out how to get my armor there, though…!!

The end.

In which I reply to a comment

August 5, 2010

One veteran burner’s advice I received was to only take costumes and not bother taking regular clothes, or at least take the absolute minimum of regular clothes you’ll need (for the elements, wearing outside BRC, etc.)

I disagree. Costumes are my THING, and I packed a plethora of both costumes and practical clothes last year. I hardly wore any of the costumes. And when I did, there wasn’t much of a point to it (ie, it was night, and I had a coat and warm things covering it up).

This year, I am first packing practical things to wear. One pair of shoes, one pair of walk to the toilet shoes, one spare pair of shoes (same as the first, cheap little shrug boots).

Last year I had….three? pairs of boots…flip-flops, sneakers and slippers for around camp…if not more.  Between the elements and the need for mobility, when I did dress up I found I kinda wish’d I hadn’t. I mean sure, Prom Princess Hitler and the belligerent unicorn were sort of fun, but trying to ride a bike in all that tomfoolery = not so much.

And I mean, if you’re not a “costume-y” person?

Anyways. As I was trying to sort and pack I realized flying does have the advantage of forcing me to not only not have to choose between ghost pirate panniers and evil Alice, I can’t pack either! No wearing five different outfits in one day (like I was noticed to do last year at Alchemy) for me!

And…I need to be OK with that. But that’s me. As a veteran burner (I guess) and BM second-timer, who is trying to deal with flying (and not being able to take…um…five boxes? like last year…) be safe and practical, first, then see what kind of room you have.

Amazing things happened without me even thinking to ask…so now I’ve thought of something to ask for: hopefully someone will be able to loan me an air mattress/bedding and a cooler. The cooler is a pain because it doesn’t hold THAT much, as far as clothes or such, and it would have to be securely taped up and closed, and then whatever’s in it, when I get to Reno, has to get out! And the space that bedding would take up = one whole piece of luggage that could be filled with fun stuff.

Flying to Burning Man is way too complicated – on a budget, anyways. Sure, if you can fly in when you want, rent a car, buy stuff once you get there, wellllllllllllllll fucking great for you.

I can’t, though. I’m already overbudget (anybody want to buy a bento box? vintage Strawberry Shortcake glassware? my virginity?) and worried about that in addition to all this packing and and and and and and and

…I’m really glad I have this weekend off. Tonight I’m going to my friend’s house, hoping he’ll have another bag for me. He’s a rad-ass kayaker, and also has a water bladder he’s going to loan me. I don’t know if my idea of the belt and cloak will work, we’ll find out this weekend. I’m off this weekend (YES.). Then I work for seven days straight before my next days off.

Ok. Let’s stop whining and see what needs to get done:


packing up

packing things all in one place I can carry and put on a plane

figuring out the cooler situation

what food should I try to fly with?

what food can I get at the mystery grocery store?

Should I spend time on the camp gifts I want to make that I might not have room for?

Is the cloak and belt a waste of time?

Should I stop all the crafting and instead spend hours in evening exercising, both to lose weight and “get hot” and acclimate towards the miles and miles of walking I’ll be doing?

Ack. I got interuppted by work and lost my train of thought several times.

Better post and pics of boobies next time, honest.

Two ride-sharing resources

July 27, 2010

1. 2010 marks the third year of the Reno Rideshare Bases.

There are three different locations in the Reno area that serve as Rideshare Bases.

The idea is, and experience has proven, that if you get to any of these locations — * during their regular business hours * — you should be able to negotiate a ride among the MANY burners that are shopping there at any given time.

Here are the three Rideshare Bases for 2010:

Save Mart Supermarket
525 Keystone Ave – 775-786-2150
Open 24/7.

Whole Foods Market
6139 South Virginia Street – 775-829-8666
Open Open 8am-9pm.

Trader Joe’s
5035 South McCarran Blvd – 775-826-1621
Open 8am-10pm.

In 2009 there was a free shuttle that transported people from the airport to these rideshare bases. NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT THE CASE FOR 2010. There will not be such a shuttle, but getting to one of the rideshare bases should still not be a serious obstacle to you.

Each of the rideshare bases is next to a freeway and major travel route to Burning Man — Save Mart next to I-80, Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s next to US-395 — and each is only about 10 minutes from the airport.

If you are flying into Reno, it is advised that you check in at Air Playa Info, a volunteer-run information table inside the airport c/o Burning Man, to see about carpooling a taxi with other people to any of the rideshare bases, or in any case a taxi ride should not be much more than $10. Remember to tell the taxi driver to use the freeway!

(Note that checking in at Air Playa Info is also a good spot to see about landing a ride share directly to the playa, as many burners rent a car from there. But the rideshare bases are an excellent backup plan).

If you go to any of the Rideshare Bases, please remember:

The parking lot is not just for burners. Leave No Trace. Everyone in the vehicle must be wearing a seatbelt. And be comfortable with those in the vehicle before hopping on-board.

2. Official  Burning Man online bulletin board

All the rest.

March 19, 2010

I have no idea where the rest of my journaling is, so I’m just going to dump the rest of the pics.

It was a long ride.

I thought this was pretty cute, little Sally in there with all the big kids.

That…ha ha ha…isn’t a real penis. It’s the end of Duff Duff’s water…sprayer thing.

Sally has a futon in the back, that folds down, making sleep a rather pleasant event on the road.

The view out the window…

And then, in a while, there will be no green. Only desert.

Should we go to Burning Man?

About a day or so out, we started seeing other burners…then we got to the end of the line

A line of cars, kicking up some serious dust.

And now…some things I saw and/or did…AT BURNING MAN!

Rana in Duff Duff’s armor

Tutu Tuesday

Home Sweet Pain In The Ass Home

I love this picture, as you can see all the dust in my hair. We, the…Funky Love Pirates? That doesn’t sound right…our crew

(the pirate ship, not Thunderdome)

kept the Friday night is pirate night tradition.

Smilin’ Captain Ryan, leader of our motley crew


Dust. Constantly. That is the air. Not a storm, not a breeze. Playa air. Speaking of playa air, here’s what it sounds like:

I was trying to film it, for friends back home. View from the pirate ship:

Attemped a tour from camp to Esplanade:

More things on our head on the way home:

…so, WordPress kindly just lost the second half of that. I guess if you give a shit you can go to my youtube account to watch the crappy footage I took.

The end.

“Kind of like when Jesus tried to pass for Christians, in their bunny suits”

January 7, 2010

I have no idea what that means. Here’s more transcriptions of my playa journals – remember, transcriptions. What it says doesn’t reflect how I felt before or after, just in the immediacy of the moment. Notes I’m making now will be italicized. Like this!

12:30 a.m. (right outside of Chattanooga, after busting a tire and axle. Barely two hours after we left Atlanta.)  Between mile marker 166/164. Sleep. Tecate. Kung Fu Hustle.

Hard to sleep wtih trucks passing, rocking the bus. Kung Fu Hustle in my ear

Time = ? Co-piloting with Tunna as

the sun rises over Nashville.


He asked me what I’m looking forward to most. Nothing, I shrugged. Just being there.

“Kind of like when Jesus tried to pass for Christians, in their bunny suits.”

I’m on a bus. Everything has been surreal…just this out of the ordinary limbo, leading up to the most out of the ordinary experience of my life.

“Sunrise. Switching to day mode.”

some magnetic poetry from the fridge on the bus:

I’ll bet

the squirrels

would have



your mind



going to be

right there


the gene pool farted

and you started out


No pig (I collect these particular pigs…posted a pic somewhere here)  in Illinois. 😦 Justin didn’t hoot and holler when we passed in to it, either. Been in Missouri for a while…

“Just hanging out, guys! Pay no attention to the man behind the, er, on the…uh…”

He who fills the jug…

…dumps it out at a gas station somewhere in rural Missouri. Confucious didn’t say that.”

got a pig. Justin returned a banana, to get the two for one deal (I got the other one).

Karissa’s munchin corn nuts and we’re going to WM AGAIN. We are NEVER GONNA GET THERE.

Higginsville – After four or five trips into the WM, I had an adventure across the way to a closed Farm & Lawn Store, looking for a 1 1/4 box wrench. Across the street, Olberschen looked like the place. Auto, hardware…sho nuff. SoI walked back to WM, prize in hand (for the fuel pump).

WalMart had likker and some beer, but no wine.

I have the most wanted circuses

are you in it?

I’ll try to grow up when you leave


I will work when my special time is done


Your thoughts usually get along with chaos

Glass is actually OK. Sux to pack it out! (I didn’t bring any beer or anything in glass containers because I thought it wasn’t allowed. Yes, nothing is actually not allowed, etc., but I tend to try and do the right thing)

5:37, 43 miles from Kansas City. Don’t know which one.

Tuesday – rode around and around looking for something, anything. Came home so disappointed. Slept all day the heat is miserable. Got up @ 6:18 Wednesday night. Just don’t feel myself. Very frustrated at how poorly prepared I am. Dying for a fucking cold soda and pickle (I don’t drink soda  – or eat pickles – IRL, so I didn’t take any.) Couldn’t find a bar or new friends or old friends. Would be happy to leave tomorrow. Wish I knew what was wrong (with me).

I’m not oeverwhelmed or underwhelmed…I had few expectations, so just don’t know.

9 Genome Slutgarden dance party till 9

Dna 5 Hushville library – 10 pm

8-11 Pickle Joint

Planet Earth – goth 9 am Plaze @ 330

Bat Country Esp 930

Club Verboten 430 Extinct

In retrospect, I really, really think just having a friend, just one person to do stuff with would have make a complete world of difference. Esp. one who knew how to navigate, but just anyone person to share everything with would have fucking rocked. More pics from about that time somewhere around Missouri

Karissa worked on her gift the whole way there

the purple and blue and black swirly one was my absolute favourite


September 25, 2009

I was born in St. Louis. It was neat to drive through there. But let me back up. I took my first shift during sunrise, in Kentucky. I had a blast, driving. Skynrd, Kentucky hills – it was nice. I rocked out (as opposed to the other drivers, all psytrancers or music-less borrowing psytrance).

I took some “POV” shots, of my first shift, but they’re on someone else’s camera. Plus, I mean, they’re pictures out the window as I’m driving.

bm there 027

So people are all, “All that time on a bus? Did you have fun?” Boy, did we!

bm there 005

bm there 006

bm there 007

I mean, how fun is that??

It never stopped.

You see what we did there?

You see what we did there?


Some people worked on beautiful gifts. Some people talked on the phone. Some people stared out the window.

bm there 029

Like I said. IT NEVER STOPPED! Because Brooklyn parties don’t stop. Wait, what?