A note about names

I always wanted a nickname. Something chummy and familar – it’d feel like people like me, if they had a nickname for me.

A guy in high school called me Bjork. But, he did it like a retching sound. It wasn’t a compliment.

King Kong, Butterteeth and just “homely” were some others.

Several years ago I picked S.C. Libertine. People assume I’m some sort of slut. I actually was thinking about going to seminary, at the time – full in the throes of the Emerging Church and trying to reconcile my faith with…well, the rest of me.

The word “libertine” is derived from the Roman mythological figure, Liber (meaning “free”). Liber represented husbandry and crops and was celebrated by mystery religions including the Secret Order of Libertines. The term was also coined by John Calvin to negatively describe opponents of his policies in Geneva, Switzerland. This group, led by Ami Perrin, argued against Calvin’s “insistence that church discipline should be enforced uniformly against all members of Genevan society”.

It was a reference to theological defiance, not sexual immorality.

Then came the pagan festivals. Everybody had dumb-ass names like Dragon Shadow, so I picked Banshee. I work in the death industry, I’m the bringer of bad news by way of my bitter, cynical sarcasm, I love Siouxsie and the Banshees, etc.

That one never left Dragon Hills.

Then, at the second Alchemy, I camped with Deputy Giggles, Jingles von Doompants, etc.

who picked up this whole “DOOM!” thing on the playa (Camp Doom, where I – nevermind. No pics, so it didn’t happen!)…so, that was our call. “DOOOOOOM!!” she’d yell, in a deep, loud voice. To which I’d reply with a sigh, in a soft voice, “Glooooooom…”

Because I love the Cure and rain and kittens.

Thus began Doom and Gloom.

A couple of weeks later we aquired Zoom and Boom

They still knows I’m Gloom, but pretty much everybody else calls me DOOM! It’s fun…people sing the doomydoomdoom song and yell “DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!” when they see me…

Last May (2009) at the DSB Reunion Bubba John referred to me as CFM.

“Oh, you know, Cute Fucking ___.”

(I try to keep my real name as off the internet as possible.)

Then, faux behind my back, “…yeah right, Crazy Fucking ___.”

Again, not meant as a compliment.

Last night I thought of Cunt Face Monkeyshine.

Craves Fucking Moonshine?

Some people who were with me Sunday and drunk in BRC last year can call me Glory Hole. It seemed a good mockery of the whole playa name schtick. I was introducing myself as random nonsense. Portajonsi. Mudd Butt. Etc. Glory Hole stuck – didn’t hurt that I wrote it on my chest with a sharpie at Alchemy and you could read it for like, two days…

So yeah. Now, on the internets, I’m know as CFM – I guess that’ll stick. We’ll see.


6 Responses to “A note about names”

  1. N Says:

    I always thought the C was for Certifiably adding the F to emphasize it… meaning the one and only, real thing, not anything else.

  2. J Says:

    I think only my lover could then be “CFM,” no? Certifiably Fucking M___…ha!

  3. N Says:

    Correct if the verb is used as a present participle. Usage in my version as a colloquial intensifier. Certifiably meaning not an imitation. (You just made me spend 5 minutes on wikipedia searching parts of speech!)

  4. J Says:

    It was worth it! Oooo, grammar, talk dirty to me!!

  5. N Says:

    William Strunk Jr. spinning in grave.

  6. Iz Says:

    Howdy. I wandered over here from the TC defacebook. I was actually curious about the nickname, and what’dya know, there it is. That was some serious ‘splainin’. I suppose I should do something similar for anyone curious as to what the hell my nickname is all about.

    For what it’s worth, I rilly like the playa name Mud Butt. It commands respect, turns heads, brings smiles to everyone’s face all at once, and it might even get you a spot first in line at the porta-potties. Do you mind if I just call you Mud Butt?

    Nice to meet you.

    – Airmon Izard of P’Orange

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