I’m now officially scared. I’ll get sick from heat. I’ll injure myself and get infected I won’t be allowed home through customs. I’ll meet people I don’t want to meet instead of those I do. I’ll come home completely psychologically changed and hate my current life. People will think me ugly: not because of my looks but because of my personality. I’ll whine from the heat. I’ll not eat properly and be grumpy. I’ll want private space and turn into a dick from lack of sleep. I’ll hide my shy self behind a book and never leave camp. When people try to get me to open up I’ll be so boring they’ll leave. I’m still gonna go. I’ve never done a burn in my life and it’s sheer idiocy to do the biggest one in the world. I’ll see you there, eh?

I never lost any weight and “got hot.” I require massive amounts of sleep and will be a cranky, horribly, physically ill person due to lack of it (trying to find some Ambien with no luck). I will wander around by myself the whole time, never feeling so lonely in my life. I already hate my current life, and know that BM will make it even worse. My awesome boots will give me horrible blisters despite moleskin pads. I am used to sleeping 8+ hrs a night and sitting on my ass all day. I’m already in constant, tight, oppressive shoulder and neck pain (trying to find some muscle relaxers) for some reason, starting a week or two ago. No sleep and constant walking/biking are going to kill me. My bike seat is very uncomfortable. Everything I have worked so hard on will fall apart (more than it is already) once I get there. I hate myself for hating myself, and being so insecure.  Nobody will like me, or even want to try and get me to open up. I just am not cool enough. I’m taking too much food. I’m not taking enough food. It will all melt and spoil. Everybody will hate me for having to help me set up this pain in the ass dome. People will wander into the dome thinking it is “something” and not my private living space. I don’t have a shade structure and will be unable to get any sleep once I finally try. I will lose my awesome job. My grandmother will die and I will miss her funeral.

And that’s not even counting the bus trip there.

Yeah, see you there.

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6 Responses to “”

  1. Runaway Says:

    You can get a massage on the playa very easily. Go to HeeBeeGeeBee Healers or one of the dozen or so other camps doing massages and get those tight shoulders worked on first thing Monday!

  2. Skygnome777 Says:

    Hey, cool, I’m not the only person who is panicking. But maybe you should remember, as I try to, there will be over 30,000 people there, so someone you get along with will be present.

    Are you going with friends?
    Is this your first burn?(It’s mine)
    Maybe we should create a burn-newbie support and intervention group. If one of us stays inside we’ll have an intervention and pry the book from their hands. 😛

    Alright, I must go now and dehydrate ridiculous amounts of food.

    -Alex

  3. Brody Says:

    I’m a trained massage practitioner. I will help.

    There’s a cool dude named Rob Breszny. He broke his brain at Burning Man one year and developed this whole cool idea that’s the opposite of paranoia, called Pronoia: the idea that the universe is conspiring to shower you with blessings.

    Stay with me on the hippiewagon for a sec and read this, and play along, maybe poke around his site a bit:
    http://freewillastrology.com/beauty/beauty.main64.shtml

    Everything will be fine. Just drink some water and chill.

    • J Says:

      I was really hoping to squeeze in some appts. with a guy I know who can actually help – most painful experience (his massage) but I actually left feeling better. It was weird. Sitting at a desk all day, typing and using a mouse is murder. And then going home for more sitting, or hunching over a sewing machine. I hate asking for massages – esp. since usually the beautiful, well-meaning people offering don’t actually *help.* Well, I mean, ANY massage feels WONDERFUL, of course! But it rarely works anything in my back of rock out.

      I love Rob Breszny! I don’t believe in horroschopes, but I always read his, and have taped quite a few to my mirror, monitor, etc. Good link. Thank you. I will definitely be reading that every day!

  4. Brody Says:

    Also: if your dome is back in the camping area, people will know that it’s not public. But if it would help your brain, make a “private residence” sign or something?

  5. Brody Says:

    >But it rarely works anything in my back of rock out.

    Yeah, sounds like you need hardcore deep tissue. (I do Swedish, so probably couldn’t help therapeutically). I would suggest talking to the massage camp folks, seeing if they have a specific person who does deep tissue. There’s SO MANY bodyworkers out on the playa, you can’t throw a glowstick without hitting one. (But, many of them do hippie-b.s. energywork and stuff, so watch out or you’ll end up with your chakras aligned instead of your back fixed)

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