This is me, sharing my feelings n’shit:

I had the delight of taking the woman responsible for me being a burner to her first burn, and we just got back from her first BIG burn. She writes me,

…i didn’t even get to say buy to the boy i met or give him my addy. oh well next time. am contemplating going attempting to get off work and lying to my friend getting married that i can’t make her wedding and going to alchemy instead right now i am very upset at the prospect of not going and there is no need to say that fall fling would be a poor comparison never thought i would but just the responsibility thing eats at me. am trying to pack and not be lonely and cry so i don’t look like hell when i have to go to work. i need a day job! miss you and everyone being around me constantly.

The other total virgin (I mean didn’t own a tent or anything) is also struggling with the post-fun depression. I wrote her back,

I’m so sorry for how you’re feeling, I so completely understand exactly what you’re going through. You know, of course, I would love to have you at Alchemy! You’re my camping best mate! 
 
What boy did you meet? I can help you find him…I told G- I’d find hers, too. 😛
 
They’re addicting, aren’t they? I remember when I got back from my first Alchemy…it was just so freaking QUIET!!! No laughter surrounding me, no exciting costumes running by, no waking up to the prospect of a completely wonderful day…let’s plan to get together Friday, and have a little decomp party. 🙂 We can dress up exquisitely and go out or something.
It is true! I was at home after my first burn and realized…”I don’t have four assaults of music coming from me at all sides…” It is so quiet…I can go a whole week, without talking to a single other person. Get up. Work. Go home. Sleep. Get up. Work. Go home. Sleep.
Burns are more than just a chance for me to run around in zombie clown barbarian glitter-kinis. It’s freakin’ human interaction and contact, c-n-v-e-r-s-a-t-i-o-n-s, and an opportunity for me to be reminded that I.am.not.fucking.alone.
It is very lonely in our little town…so many burners go back to their town, and they still have their circus/acrobat troupe/ass clownery. We have our jobs, and a town obsessed with football…I’m rolling through with momentum, gearing up for BM, and then Alchemy…I told the other depressed friend I’d be in denial until October…when winter looms, and the real ennui kicks in.
I can’t even imagine what it will be like to get home from Burning Man. It has been – not even a dream. I’ve wanted to go since I first heard of it, about 1998, but never even tried to think about it…and here I am, DOING IT. DOOMing it!
Didja know GLOOM and DOOM upside down spells WOO WOO!
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One Response to “This is me, sharing my feelings n’shit:”

  1. Brody Says:

    I have to say….my boyfriend went home to Seattle after his first Burning Man, tried to find a Burner community in Seattle….it didn’t quite work (they don’t have much of a community and a lot of it is the drug-and-raves type)…and he eventually moved down here to the SF Bay Area to be closer to art and community and the Burning Man culture.

    Best decision he’s ever made, he says.

    I’m just sayin’. Burning Man (and associated events) can ruin you for places where there’s not stuff like that year-round.

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