Decomp…

Short for decompression. Something I tend to try and avoid and ignore, because it will just depress me further – although this year, I didn’t cry once on the drive home! My lovely, wonderful friend (if I may be so bold) has some, per usual awesome and hilarious, advice:

 

Decompression hints, tips, suggestions and what-nots

 

This is mostly for the virgins out there who are aimlessly wandering around their home-spaces staring into corners, being very confused about the mailman and wondering why there is still drumming in their ears….

 

It’s called “decomp” – short for decompression. Like in SCUBA diving, one must come up from the depths slowly in order not to “gas” themselves into the bends. When one comes home from a burn, you have to go thru your decompression in order to make it back to what several call “reality camp.”

 

Signs of decompression bends are such, please contact your camp mates and make sure you all look for the warning signs:

 

You set your tent up in the back yard instead of going to bed

You look at the mail in your mailbox as if they are messages from God

Running water baffles you and

You giggle profusely every time you flush the toilet and dump blue food coloring into it

You go to work wearing glitter, fun fur and a blinky hat

You lay in the living room with all your gifted schwag draped all over you and refuse to move until someone gives you a waffle

Every time someone lights a match or lighter you scream “Yeah, burn the bitch!”

Clothes feel like shards of glass

 

There are many more signs of decompression bends, but those are probably the most common. Below are some tips to cope with decompression – I encourage others to add their tips as well. We all want the virgins to survive.

 

Before your burn do the following:

Put a frozen pizza and/or ice cream in the freezer for your return – these are very common cravings coming off any “playa”

Make sure all your bills are caught up before you go, money managing is dangerous during decomp as is operating any heavy machinery or a slinky

Clean your house and remove all flammable and sharp pointy things from view

Change the sheets, and have the bath/shower and fresh towels ready for your return

Have the following movies cued into your Netflix account: Team USA, Idiocracy, any animated flick (I highly recommend Surf’s Up,) Old Godzilla movies are great too

 

After your burn:

Schedule an extra day off for traveling, unpacking, and eating Oreos

Begin watching movies in cue mentioned above, surround yourself with soft things

Make a collage with all your schwag and place in shadow box frame – add it to the burner shrine wall in your abode

Download your pictures and email your buddies…stay close and look for above warning signs

Write down all the things you wish you had done and be ready to forget them all again at the next burn

Start repairing, revamping, and creating new costumes

Go to a park and just sit or make a sculpture out of acorns

Take up a hobby that will keep you from running downtown naked at odd times

Wait one month before wearing a watch again – this depends on the individual

Attend a decomp gathering or better yet, organize one yourself

Buy a megaphone http://www.megaphoneusa.com/

 

Again, there are more things you can do. Everybody’s decomp is different. I hope that this pubic service announcement has been helpful to you or someone you know.

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go sit in a dark quiet place and eat fruit cocktail.

It is awfully true…last night my friend kept going outside in her yard to pee (“I can’t get used to having a toilet…”) and another called, leaving a message, depressed and just wanting to chat.

It is really important to have a plan, when you get home. Stay in a hotel, your first night out of BRC. Clean your house before you go, so you come home to space and serenity. Have some beer in the fridge, and something you love to eat ready to go – enough for a few days, perhaps. Even better, have a lover waiting for you, with some Thai chicken simmering on the stove…

Me, I will probably do none of those things. I will just come home, come back to this desk, and sit, waiting for the next time…

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